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Writer's picturestevengestetner

Couples Therapy; It's Driven by Trauma not lack of skills: The Power of Internal Family Systems Therapy

In the messy landscape of relationships, old wounds have a nasty habit of resurfacing when we least expect them. They lurk in the shadows, wreaking havoc on our ability to communicate, connect, and find satisfaction with our partners. It's like trying to navigate through a minefield blindfolded, with no idea where the next explosion will come from. But here's the thing: when it come to couples therapy it's driven by trauma not a lack of skills.

Let's cut to the chase. In any relationship, there are parts of ourselves that are seriously messed up. We've got these inner voices – some wounded, some protective – that dictate our actions and reactions without us even realizing it. It's like having a bunch of unruly kids running around in our heads, messing things up left, right, and center.

Now, picture this scenario: you and your partner are at each other's throats, arguing over the same old crap for the umpteenth time. Sound familiar? Yeah, we've all been there. But what if I told you that underneath all that drama lies a bunch of scared, wounded parts just begging to be heard and healed?

That's where IFS Therapy comes in. Instead of just plastering over the cracks and pretending everything's fine, it's about diving deep into the muck and mire of our inner worlds. It's about shining a spotlight on those wounded parts and giving them the love and attention they so desperately need.


Woman in red shirt yelling at man in black shirt
Couple fighting

Think about it: when was the last time you really sat down and listened to that scared little kid inside you? Or showed some compassion to that overprotective part that's been calling the shots for way too long? Probably not recently, right? Well, that's where IFS Therapy flips the script.

By getting to know our inner parts and understanding where they're coming from, we can start to untangle the mess that's been holding us back in our relationships. We can finally break free from those old patterns of behavior and start showing up as our true, authentic selves.

Sure, it's not always easy. There'll be tears, tantrums, and plenty of uncomfortable conversations along the way. But hey, nobody said healing was a walk in the park. The important thing is that we're willing to roll up our sleeves and do the work – because trust me, the payoff is worth it.

So, if you're tired of feeling stuck in the same old relationship rut, maybe it's time to give IFS Therapy a shot. Who knows? It might just be the kick in the ass you need to start living your best damn life.



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