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Embracing the Journey of Self-Discovery Together: A Guide to IFS Therapy for Couples

Updated: Sep 6, 2023

IFS Therapy for Couples


In every relationship, individuals evolve and grow over time. However, sometimes these personal transformations may not occur in tandem, leading to a disconnect between partners. One partner might find solace and self-awareness through Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, while the other remains hesitant about taking this transformative path. This blog explores how embracing IFS therapy together can empower couples to embark on a journey of self-discovery, fostering a deeper, more connected relationship.

Understanding IFS Therapy:

Internal Family Systems therapy, known as IFS, is an innovative and powerful approach that acknowledges each person's multiplicity of self. According to IFS, we all have different "parts" within us, each with unique emotions, beliefs, and memories. These parts can either be burdened, carrying emotional wounds, or be in a state of harmony, known as the "Self."

IFS therapy aims to promote healing by understanding and addressing these parts with compassion and curiosity. It helps individuals identify their parts and learn how to relate to them in a constructive and supportive way, thereby achieving a sense of inner balance and self-led living.

When One Partner Embarks on the IFS Journey:

It's not uncommon for one partner to experience significant personal growth through IFS therapy while the other remains hesitant or unaware of its potential benefits. In such situations, the partner who has undergone the process might be eager for their loved one to experience similar transformations. However, it's crucial to approach this situation with sensitivity and understanding.

  1. Patience and Empathy: The partner who has experienced positive changes through IFS therapy should practice patience and empathy. Remember that personal growth is a unique journey, and pushing one's partner might only create resistance. Instead, lead by example and share your insights and experiences in a non-intrusive manner.

  2. Open Communication: Initiate an open and non-judgmental conversation about your own journey with IFS therapy. Express how it has positively impacted your life and strengthened your relationship. Encourage your partner to share their thoughts and feelings about the idea of pursuing therapy together.

  3. Respect Boundaries: If your partner expresses hesitation or reluctance, respect their decision. Acknowledge that everyone has their own timing and that pushing them into therapy might not yield the desired results. Allow them space to process the information and make their own choices.

  4. Highlight the Relationship Benefits: Emphasize the potential benefits that couples can experience through IFS therapy together. Highlight how this shared experience can foster understanding, compassion, and a deeper connection between both partners.

Embracing IFS Therapy Together:

When both partners decide to explore IFS therapy together, it can be a transformative and unifying experience. Here are some ways to embrace the journey together:

  1. Joint Sessions: Attending therapy sessions together can facilitate open communication and provide a safe space to explore emotions, vulnerabilities, and aspirations as a couple.

  2. Develop Shared Language: IFS therapy involves using specific language to understand and communicate about one's inner parts. Develop a shared vocabulary to better understand each other's experiences.

  3. Practice Compassion: As you explore each other's parts and vulnerabilities, practice compassion and non-judgment. Remember that healing comes through understanding and supporting one another.

  4. Set Common Goals: Collaboratively set goals for your relationship and individual growth. Encourage each other in achieving these objectives, celebrating progress together.


Internal Family Systems therapy offers an incredible opportunity for individuals to embark on a journey of self-discovery and healing. When one partner has experienced personal growth through IFS therapy, it is natural to desire the same transformative experience for their loved one. By approaching the subject with empathy, respect, and open communication, couples can embark on this journey together, deepening their connection and nurturing a relationship grounded in self-awareness and mutual understanding. Embracing IFS therapy as a team can lead to a more fulfilling and self-led life together, fostering a strong and harmonious bond that withstands the tests of time.

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