Anger Management
Anger isn't the problem. It's often the part of you working hard to protect something underneath: hurt, fear, shame or exhaustion. Many people come to therapy after snapping at a partner, shutting down in a fight, or feeling out of control when stress hits. I offer anger management therapy in Toronto and online across Ontario for individuals and couples, using Internal Family Systems (IFS).
Steven Gestetner, RP · CRPO #7632 · Certified IFS Therapist (Level 3)
Signs Anger May Be Running the Show
• Quick flare-ups that feel bigger than the situation
• Yelling, sarcasm or cold withdrawal you regret afterward
• Constant irritability, tension or a short fuse at home or work
• Feeling misunderstood, disrespected or unheard
• Conflict patterns that repeat despite your best intentions
Anger can build from stress, burnout, old wounds, parenting pressure, or growing up in a home where anger was frightening or unsafe. It is not a character flaw, and it does not make you a bad partner, parent or person.
How IFS Approaches Anger
IFS sees the mind as made up of "parts." An angry part often steps in as a protector: it tries to keep you from feeling hurt, powerless or ashamed. These strategies may have helped you cope, but they can cost you your closest relationships and leave you feeling guilty afterward.
IFS doesn't try to suppress or get rid of your anger. Instead, we:
1. Get to know the angry part with curiosity, and understand what it is trying to protect
2. Listen to the more vulnerable parts underneath, such as hurt, fear or shame, from a place of calm
3. Help the angry part take on a more constructive role, so you can respond instead of react
Many people find this gentler than approaches that focus only on controlling behaviour in the moment. It can sit alongside practical skills for noticing triggers and pausing before you speak.
What Anger Management Sessions Look Like
We go at the pace your system allows. Early sessions focus on understanding your triggers and the parts that show up when you're activated. You decide what to share and when. I see clients in person in Toronto and by secure video across Ontario. Session details and fees are on the Plans & Pricing page.
Who I Work With
• Individuals whose anger is straining their relationships, work or health
• Couples stuck in recurring arguments, shutdowns or blame
• Parents who feel overwhelmed and react in ways they regret
• People who grew up around anger, conflict or unpredictability
• Anyone ready to understand their reactions, not just manage them
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I have to talk about the details of what happened?
No. IFS doesn't require you to retell your story in detail. We work with how anger shows up in your life now, and you decide together with me what to explore.
Is this anger management or therapy?
It is therapy. Rather than a skills class alone, we explore what your anger is protecting so change comes from within, and we can include practical tools for the moment you feel reactive.
Can my partner and I come together?
Yes. I work with couples where anger or conflict is a pattern, and with individuals who want to work on their own reactions.
How long does anger management therapy take?
It varies with your history and goals. We'll talk about this openly in the first sessions and review progress as we go.
Is IFS a replacement for crisis support?
No. If you or someone else is at risk of harm, call or text 988 (Canada's Suicide Crisis Helpline) or call 911.
Do you offer online anger management therapy?
Yes, by secure video for clients in Ontario, and in person in Toronto.
Ready to begin? Book a consultation or call 647-210-8884.