Healing Self-Worth with IFS Therapy: Learn to Receive Love

Healing Self-Worth: Why You Feel Unappreciated (Even When People Love You)

You give so much — at work, in relationships, at home. You’re the helper, the problem solver, the one others rely on. But inside, you feel drained.Resentful.Alone.

And here’s the part no one talks about:You might be rejecting love — without even realizing it.

From an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy perspective, this pattern is deeply connected to wounded self-worth. It's not about being selfish or cold. It's about protectors inside you that learned love must be earned — not freely received.

Why You Might Be Rejecting Love Without Knowing It

If you often feel burned out, unappreciated, or invisible in your relationships, it may seem like others are the problem. But often, there’s something happening inside your emotional system that you haven’t noticed yet.

You may have internal beliefs like:

• “My worth comes from being needed.”

• “It’s weak to ask for help.”

• “If I stop giving, people will leave.”

• “I don’t know how to receive love without guilt.”

These are signs of protector parts at work — a key concept in IFS therapy. These parts push you to care for others, over-function, and stay in control. But they also block you from receiving care, affection, and support — even when people genuinely offer it.

So instead of love feeling nourishing, it feels uncomfortable… or even threatening.

How Wounded Self-Worth Develops

Most of us didn’t grow up in environments where love was truly unconditional. Instead, we were taught:

• Love is something you earn by being good, quiet, helpful, or successful

• Your needs come second — or not at all

• Rest is laziness

• Asking for care is selfish

These messages shape your internal system. Over time, parts of you may believe that your worth depends entirely on what you do for others.

Even when life improves, those inner beliefs don’t just disappear. They stay active in the background — quietly sabotaging your ability to receive love and leaving you feeling unfulfilled.

Healing Self-Worth with IFS Therapy

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a gentle, compassionate approach to healing these patterns. Instead of trying to “fix” you, IFS helps you get to know the different parts of your inner system — especially the ones that try to protect you through overgiving, perfectionism, or emotional distance.

IFS therapy helps you:

• Understand why receiving love feels unsafe

• Build trust with the parts that push others away or hide your needs

• Access your Self — the calm, confident core of who you are

• Create new experiences of connection and worthiness

As your system begins to heal, you can receive love without guilt — and know that your worth is not tied to your usefulness.

Signs You May Be Struggling with Hidden Self-Worth Wounds

You might benefit from IFS therapy if you:

• Feel constantly drained by your relationships

• Have trouble asking for or accepting help

• Push others away but don’t know why

• Feel resentful but also guilty about setting boundaries

• Struggle to believe you’re lovable unless you’re doing something for someone else

These are not signs that you’re broken — they’re signs that your system is protecting you the best way it knows how. And with the right support, it can learn new ways of being.

You Deserve to Feel Loved — Without Earning It

Healing self-worth is not about becoming someone new. It’s about unlearning the belief that you must prove your value to be loved. With IFS therapy, you can begin to trust that you are already enough — just as you are.

Ready to begin healing self-worth with IFS therapy?I offer IFS-informed therapy for adults struggling with burnout, people-pleasing, and self-worth. Let’s work together to reconnect you to your inherent worth and help you receive love with ease.👉 Book a free consultation here or learn more about IFS therapy.